Honoring God In The Marriage Bed

Clearly, God created us to have and enjoy sex. One reason why so many Christian marriages are in trouble is because of conflicting beliefs about sexual intimacy. Many couples struggle with feelings of dissatisfaction, because they have not reached a mutual agreement regarding the frequency and variety of their love making. Some of them have unanswered questions about what is and what is not okay to do sexually as a Christian. Unfortunately, Christian leaders shy away from teaching forthrightly about godly sex between husband and wife. They may refer to marital sex within the context of procreation or as the matrimonial duty of the husband and wife. We hear a lot of teaching on the sin of adultery and the consequences of sex outside of marriage, but rarely do we hear teaching on making love once you are married. Consequently, most married Christians just do what works for them and they may not ever achieve freedom in the marriage bed.

For Christians, making love is an expression of our gratitude to God. Our spouses are a physical representation of God’s love for us. He blessed us with a lifelong partner that loves and accepts us despite our flaws. This type of unconditional acceptance comes from our Creator. When we honor God while making love with our spouse, we experience the ecstasy of total acceptance, supernatural healing in our marriage and the inseparable love of God.

For many couples it’s difficult to think about a Holy God, while having sex. Intellectually we know that God created sex, but we are inundated with images and ideas about sex through movies, music and advertising. As a result, our viewpoint on making love is greatly influenced by carnal messages that we receive from media. Media offers us a counterfeit, self-centered version of making love, which makes it awkward for couples to think of God as an essential part of the experience.

The first mention of sex in the Bible is in Genesis 4:1 [And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.] The word “knew” implies intimacy. Adam and Eve shared an intimate encounter with each other and they acknowledged the Lord in the process. So, how do we honor GOD in our bedroom? How can married couples include GOD in their lovemaking and achieve holy intimacy with each other?

Here are 5 simple steps that will help couples achieve God-centered love making:

  1. Set The Atmosphere — Holy intimacy requires a willingness to change your old ideas about sexuality and a willingness to develop a deeper relationship with the LORD and your spouse. Eliminate all distractions that may trigger old behaviors (TV, phones, location etc.) (Romans 12:2)
  2. Pray — Ask the LORD to bless you and your spouse and to increase the love that you have for each other. (James 5:16)
  3. Appreciate — While you explore the contours and texture of your spouse’s body, thank God for they are fearfully and wonderfully made.(Psalm 139:14)
  4. Slow Down — Allow the Holy Spirit to direct you to caress your spouse. Be Patient . Take your time. Be Present in the moment. Discover something new about your spouse each time you make love. Remember, love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4)
  5. Make a Special Request — Finally, ask God to strengthen your marriage and to provide your spouse’s needs (i.e., healing, courage, prosperity, guidance, etc). (Ecc 4:9-12)


1 Corinthians 7:4

Genesis 2:18

Genesis 2:24

Genesis 2:25

Genesis 3:16

Psalm 139:14

Proverbs 5:18

Ephesians 5:31-32